I am here tonight to speak about MnDOT’s recent changes to our traffic signals on Trunk Highway 169. I learned of them in probably the same way you did – through social media and then later by television or the Mankato Free Press. To me, and hopefully you agree, this indicates a problem with our MnDOT relationship.

The signalization changes which went into effect today, promise to move vehicles through our city even more efficiently. Though the details of the actual changes are scant, one can surmise that this is a continuation of the changes MnDOT made in 2019 when it synchronized the three traffic signals in our downtown for a ‘green wave.’ That now means that all five of our traffic signals will be optimized for throughput of vehicles. An additional feature of this type of signalization is the use of queue sensors for our side streets which will hold a red traffic signal until enough vehicles have built up to trigger a green.

Since 2009, when Trunk Highway 169 was reconstructed in our downtown, every operational change that MnDOT has made to this road has been with the sole purpose of moving vehicles faster through our city. To review: in 2017 the speed limit on the north side was increased to 40 mph; in 2019 MnDOT implemented the green wave; in 2023 the Highway 22 South intersection was reconstructed and the green wave extended to all intersections; and we still have the north side median project to look forward to. Let there be no doubt in this room that when MnDOT does something to our road, its sole purpose is to take care of the people who spend 4 minutes passing through our city, while ignoring the needs of the people that live and the businesses owners that try to make a living on their road.

Why is this a problem? While none of you operate retail businesses, I think it should be evident that the goal of moving vehicles past my front door as quickly as possible is no strategy for my economic success. But whatever, I can take care of myself, and if I can’t make a living here then I will go somewhere where I can. The real problem is the expectation amongst drivers that is created by these operational changes: that they don’t have to stop, slow down, or yield when moving through our city.

This is already the reality. Let me share a quick story: Saturday, after the Art Stroll, at about 6 pm I got on my bike, turned on my headlight and taillight, and began my bike ride home pulling the kiddo trailer. I took the alley over to Nassau where I waited for the traffic signal to cross 169. The timer on my bike computer was running so I know exactly how long I waited for a green: almost 5 minutes during which the signals at Mulberry and Broadway cycled through twice. When I finally did get the green I proceeded cautiously as one cannot take for granted that the car speeding towards the red light will see it, and stop. As I approached the median and the southbound lanes, I noticed a compact SUV rapidly approaching the intersection. I slowed and then stopped. The driver blew through the red light despite my verbal warning. Her light had been red for at least 10 seconds. She pulled over in front of the Chinatown restaurant. With my bike pulling my kiddo trailer, I slowly biked over to have a chat. No words or hand signals were exchanged, but when we did make eye contact, we both acknowledged the gravity of what could have happened. Here’s the punchline: there were two green Gustavus parking permit stickers on the back of her vehicle. She was one of ours.

So it would seem that it’s not just the thru traffic which views St. Peter’s downtown as a place to pass through as quickly as possible.

Since moving here two years ago, and engaging on local transportation matters, I have heard repeatedly about our great relationship with MnDOT. Please pass me the barf bag. Does it feel to you like we are being heard? We seem to have accepted that MnDOT owns the road and we can do nothing about it. You can. Your consent is still required to plan and initiate projects within our city limits. Why would you say ‘yes’ ever again, given the disregard MnDOT has shown for our city already?

But I think the real problem regarding Trunk Highway 169 is that we, the people of Saint Peter, have never collectively asked MnDOT to slow it down. Permit me to suggest a course of action: 1) pass a resolution supporting the adoption of a complete streets policy; 2) officially notify MnDOT that its policies, plans, operations and maintenance is in violation of this body’s wishes; and 3) if and when MnDOT resists operational changes (e.g. retiming traffic signals to facilitate local trips) appeal to the MnDOT Office of Ombudsman. And while the Ombudsman’s decision isn’t binding, that still isn’t the end of the road for us, because the social, economic, environmental and health damage caused by high speed, high volume roads is increasingly being construed as a taking. Finally, let us remember that we are represented in the Minnesota House by a member who sits on the Transportation Policy and Finance Committee which has oversight of MnDOT. 

I personally pledge to do my part by pressing the WALK button every time I pass through an intersection whether (or not) I intend to cross the street. Doing that interrupts the green wave, and slows down traffic. (You’re welcome.) The bottom line is that we have many routes to achieve our objective of a better 169 – provided we agree that is a goal worth pursuing.

The consequences of standing up to MnDOT are not insignificant. They plow 169, they fill potholes, and they approve our local aid project applications. Look at Belle Plaine. But, honestly, screw them because I want a better Main Street. I want to be able to have a conversation in front of my shop. I want to be able to cross on the green without worrying that drivers will stop. I want to see people of all ages and abilities able to cross the street safely, even at the uncontrolled crosswalks. I want my customers to feel safe enough to park in front of my business without fear of having their door torn off by an 18 wheeler.

I have already gone the rounds with MnDOT engineers regarding the speed limit. I was told that ‘it is a balancing act’ and that ‘people vote with their accelerator.’ I have even heard from some of you that the numbers on the speed limit sign don’t mean anything to drivers. Let me ask you this: was that how you were raised? I’m not trying to be nostalgic here, I am trying to bring us back to the reason speed limits are set: higher speeds cause more injuries and deadlier crashes. Since implementation of the green wave in 2019, crashes have gone up. The 169 corridor is responsible for half of all crashes in our city, and nearly one third of all crashes in Nicollet County. In the corridor between Broadway and Mulberry, 161 crashes have been logged since 2016. We have 29 crashes so far this year, and we’re not quite done. That is a record, and the previous record was 2022 with 24 crashes. We are heading in the wrong direction. Please do something.

Most recently the placid waters of Saint Peter were so rudely roiled by the audacious suggestion that people passing through our city should Shop New Ulm. I loved the suggestion  for the chutzpah, and because people should shop there – it really is charming. I had some business to conduct there anyway, so our family took the suggestion and made the 30 minute trip.

The first thing to note about downtown New Ulm is that it isn’t hard to find thanks to directional signage. The second thing to note is how slowly cars move through downtown: each intersection is a 3-way stop, which is the only way it should be for the benefit of your shoppers – aka people walking. The third thing to note is that nearly every on-street parking space on a Thursday afternoon was filled. The fourth thing to note is that the retail establishments were mostly attractive and inviting. The final thing to note is that there were plenty of places to rest, learn about the city’s history, and have a conversation with someone. In other words, their street – Minnesota Street – and adjacent sidewalks were a social space. It is almost like they want people to park, walk around, and stay awhile. Turns out, that is exactly what New Ulm intends. (Below is the Google Street View as one enters their Central Business District.)

This is a tale of two streets, and the second one is an avenue named ‘Minnesota.’ I think of it as our Main Street in Saint Peter; most everyone else thinks of it as Trunk Highway 169. Our Minnesota conveys about 20k vehicles a day; New Ulm’s Minnesota may convey a quarter of that on its busiest day. So we should be blowing their doors off when it comes to economic activity, right? Wrong. New Ulm’s Minnesota Street outsells us by a factor of 3x to 5x for small retail depending on the year. Why is that? Because the purpose of our Main Street is to move vehicles through as quickly as possible, while the purpose of New Ulm’s street is to slow cars and attract visitors. Nearly everyone on our street is going somewhere else; everyone on their Main Street came there for a reason. Where would you rather shop or own a business?

The prevailing speed on New Ulm’s Minnesota Street feels like 15-20 mph because of the continuous turnover of on street parking, the norms of the street (our behavior is influenced by others; driving is no different), the presence of visual friction, 3-way stops every block, and the fact that you actually see people walking around, doing stuff. Here’s the definitive proof that the street works: our three year olds didn’t yell ‘Slow Down!’ once while we walked around downtown. Outside our bike shop, in Saint Peter, they have plenty to scream at. Not helping is that in 2019, MnDOT synchronized the three traffic signals in our downtown to make it even less likely that drivers will encounter a red light. The result is higher speeds and more crashes. No one window shops at 40 mph.

What happens in the street does not stay in the street. A throwaway street lowers the value of homes that line it, and makes sustaining a small retail business along it very difficult. The dynamic is readily observable in downtown Saint Peter: our retail sector is anchored by Swedish Kontur which existed long before 169 became an awful street to walk along, live on, and walk across. That business is flanked by Cooks and Contents which are complementary adjacent businesses and were established when the street was kind of bad, but still walkable. Finally, the block is home to Nutter’s Clothing, which predates automobiles. Those are all complementary adjacent uses; lose one or two of them and the block is no longer a destination. Should that happen, you end up with what’s on the other side of the street: a coffee shop, hardware store, women’s clothing store, and a four block long eclectic collection of insurers, accountants, realtors, medical professionals, financial advisors, and vacant properties. Collectively, those are the indicators of a retail death spiral as they are all single purpose destinations. The last time you were at the orthodontist you were 5 minutes late, you left immediately after settling up, and you certainly didn’t walk down the street to the antique shop. Those businesses shut their blinds, don’t invest in curb appeal, and without good wayfinding and signage in your downtown, they break up the momentum for window shoppers.

The visitor to New Ulm’s Minnesota Street has a different experience: storefronts are attractive, renovations are underway, and most businesses are devoted to either dining or retail. The result is that a person parks near their destination and they may walk past a coffee shop, bookstore, music shop, pop up retail space, specialty retailer, wine cafe, ice cream shop, and so on. Sure, there are law offices, banks, insurers, and other single purpose destinations, but those are the exception, not the dominant species.

The last piece of getting the street and shopping environment right is parking. By that I mean bike parking, pedestrian parking (benches, ledges, shade, and water fountains), and car parking. People HATE parking in front of my shop because they worry about getting their door torn off by an 18 wheeler blasting by at 40 mph. Enough said. The successful retail block I already mentioned either relies on side street parking, or their improved rear entrances. 

New Ulm doesn’t dictate the types of businesses that own or lease storefronts on Minnesota Street, but they do make an effort to support retail by good design of the street and sidewalk space, and by providing economic incentives for opening a new business ($10k!). How do I know these things? Not saying (but you can probably guess.) Perhaps the most poignant moment of my Shop New Ulm field trip came when my entrepreneurial host asked me: Who’s on your downtown committee? ‘Er, we don’t have one,’ was my sheepish reply. And there is the main difference between our downtown retail district and theirs: they have a plan, they have people entrusted with carrying out that plan. A couple times a year our elected officials talk about how important our downtown is, but that esteem has yet to translate into an action plan. Meanwhile the private sector does its best with banners, sidewalk sales and advertising. How will this story end?

Bottom line: Saint Peter’s downtown needs a plan.

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Fixing the Broadway and Washington Intersection

The City of St. Peter will soon embark on an Intersection Control Evaluation (ICE) of the four-way stop at Broadway and Washington. This is one of the busiest intersections in St. Peter at more than 8k-9k vehicles entries per day. It is the busiest four-way stop in St. Peter for certain. It is a crossroads of our city used to connect to key destinations such as the community center and library; schools; churches; parks; downtown; and Highway 169. Most people experience the intersection as drivers, but there are others who walk it and bike it, and their safety and comfort need to be considered as well.

The ICE is intended to assess whether the intersection is safe and functioning as designed. If the finding is that it is not, then changes will be proposed. Previously, an ICE was conducted at Broadway and Sunrise, and a roundabout was proposed as a remedy for the identified safety and projected congestion issues there. A roundabout seems to be the direction we are heading with this ICE, but that doesn’t need to be a foregone conclusion. There are other remedies that are arguably as effective, and are unambiguously less expensive and quicker to implement.

Before continuing, I feel it necessary to state that I am not opposed to roundabouts. I think the one at the high school works brilliantly. But roundabouts are not one-size-fits-all solutions and due to their large footprint, disruptive construction schedule, and high cost; they should only be implemented judiciously and where they are the best/only effective traffic control option. A roundabout can be several million dollars; everything I mention below can be quickly implemented for several thousand dollars.

Let’s talk about the intersection in its current form. It can be busy and, like most major streets in St. Peter, it is wider than it needs to be. Its other safety issue is the presence of slip lanes. These exist on the NE and NW corners to facilitate large vehicles and reduce driver delay for turning on/off N Washington. (For the record: there’s nothing wrong with having a little driver delay.) Bus drivers moving between North and the Middle School like slip lanes. Walkers and bikers hate slip lanes because drivers don’t slow down, and they are usually looking away from the person trying to cross the street. Plus, they create an additional leg of the intersection for people to cross. More exposure = more danger for walkers.

So the question is: Can we eliminate the slip lanes and still accommodate the turning movements of larger vehicles? Yes, and here is how:

• The NE slip lane can be closed if the STOP bar for southbound Washington is moved back a few feet. Doing that will allow large vehicles to encroach into the oncoming lane to complete their turns. This strategy is often used in large cities on bus and trucking routes.
• The NW slip lane can be closed and school buses can be directed onto Chestnut Street. Chestnut would remain one-way eastbound, but signage would be posted to allow special dispensation to school buses at certain times of day, during the school year. For good measure, the STOP bar for eastbound drivers on Broadway could also be moved back.

The next safety problem is the large footprint of the intersection. Because this creates different challenges for drivers and walkers, their challenges and solutions will be discussed separately. Let’s talk about drivers first. N Washington joins the street grid of older St. Peter at this intersection, and as a result southbound vehicles must adjust their vector. But the real problem is the massive amount of pavement for an intersection of two 2-lane streets. Who goes where and does what is a bit ambiguous at this intersection. Oddly enough, the crash count here isn’t bad: there were 13 crashes in 8.5 years, 2 of which were injury crashes. Norms, eye contact, and a measure of caution due to uncertainty govern vehicle movements at this intersection, and those ingredients seem to be a recipe for relative safety. But I would still urge the City to install a red flashing beacon atop the STOP sign for southbound Washington drivers. (Something like this can be found on Jefferson and 7th Street for eastbound drivers.) The lack of any other traffic control devices on Washington between Dodd and Broadway can certainly set the wrong expectation for a driver unfamiliar with the area. But that’s a problem for a different discussion.

The user group most challenged by the large footprint of the current intersection are walkers and bicyclists. Remember that this is a crossroad of the community for many destinations that serve youth. Kids don’t drive. Also, there is an affordable housing development on the SW corner of the intersection. The bottom line is that we need to expect and design for walkers and bicyclists at this location.

The longer a person spends crossing the street, the more likely it is that they will be hit by a vehicle. For this reason, crossing distances matter, and just narrowing an intersection by a few feet can make a big difference. The crossing distance varies between 65 and 75 feet at this intersection. For reference, Highway 169 at Swift Street is 65 feet curb-to-curb. For additional reference, walkers can move at 2-4 feet/second. Think about how long it will take for someone of impaired mobility to cross such a distance. This intersection is way too wide.

Large crossing distances also mean more time spent on the corner waiting for all four drivers to stop so a walker can cross. What I said before about the uncertainty, eye contact, and negotiation amongst drivers making for a safer intersection – yeah, that doesn’t work for soft and small humans. Claiming your right of way by placing your 3 ton SUV in the path of another vehicle is not an option. The only way to fix this problem is by narrowing the intersection.

Whatever the ICE concludes about the safety and functioning of the current intersection, the choice shouldn’t have to come down to roundabout or no roundabout. The practice of transportation planning and engineering is evolving to the point where we no longer simply study an intersection and implement major changes. We have now introduced an intermediate step, where we do experimentation and observation to see if less invasive, and less costly solutions can succeed. Demonstration projects as these are called are recognized and frequently deployed by MnDOT to improve safety, calm traffic, and improve connectivity for walking and biking. Demonstration projects may be applied to intersections and corridors. Perhaps best of all, the Statewide Health Improvement Partnership has funding to support such demonstration projects.

 

xxxx W——— Street
Saint Peter, MN 56082

May 23, 2023

Minnesota Department of Transportation
Active Transportation Division
395 John Ireland Boulevard
Saint Paul, MN 55155

To Whom It May Concern:

Thank you for the opportunity to apply for the position of Active Transportation Planner with the Minnesota Department of Transportation. I am applying for this position because I believe that I have the lived experience, professional knowledge, and vision to be successful in the position, while advancing Minnesota’s progress towards transportation that is safe, affordable, sustainable and equitable.

At present moment I am a bike shop owner and mechanic based in Saint Peter, Minnesota. Our family chose this city and our neighborhood because they allow us to reach most destinations without resorting to driving. Our children will grow up knowing their neighbors and be able to travel independently, because mom and dad won’t have to worry about missing infrastructure, dangerous roads, and ambient noise and air pollution. Ours is a life of privilege and that is unfortunate because all Minnesotans deserve the choice we had. I would go so far as to say such a choice is a human right.

My career in the active transportation field began in 2003, at the National Center for Bicycling & Walking, in the District of Columbia. Even with a Masters Degree in Public Administration, I started (figuratively speaking) on the ground floor, opening the mail. Within two years I was a lead facilitator for their Walkable Community Workshop program, which provided technical assistance to local governments and metropolitan planning organizations. In that position I saw nearly every corner of the country and I studied under the pioneers of the active transportation field. Two years later I was doing it again, this time under the newly funded federal Safe Routes to School program.

That early Safe Routes to School work was a formative experience because I had a boss who understood that federal money would flow to the communities ready to accept it. This often meant that places with the greatest need were passed over because they couldn’t raise the local match, or didn’t have a planner, or didn’t have a grant writer, or didn’t have… fill-in-the-blank. So with the help of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, we designed a program to provide technical assistance to urban schools where walking wasn’t a choice and nearly 100 percent of students were on free/reduced lunch. In Brooklyn, Atlanta, Hartford, Camden, and other places, our walking audits and community workshops/listening sessions undoubtedly helped federal funding flow to places of great need, but more importantly our presence was the bridge between the community and the people who could help them. Elected officials, city staff, DOT staff, business owners, churches and other stakeholders fixed broken street lights, painted crosswalks, changed delivery schedules, and so on, all to help children get to school safely. Those problems were solved quickly and often cheaply; they couldn’t wait for whatever schedule the STIP dictated.

Throughout my career as a planner it has been my good fortune to always work for wise and fair people. They were good bosses who by example showed me when to be tough, when to meet people where they are at, and how to know the difference. That guidance and the work ethic I developed in the preceding years, allowed me to be successful when my office transitioned to remote work in 2009. From then until 2019, when I left the planning profession, I was the sole District of Columbia employee for the National Center for Bicycling & Walking. Working without someone in the next cubicle or office was an adjustment, but because I had built a network of trusted friends and subject matter experts, I was able to maintain a reality check to guide me in my next and biggest project: conference director of Walk/Bike/Place.

Walk/Bike/Place was a biennial active transportation conference of 600 people that fell into my lap when my organization merged with Project for Public Spaces. I ran it, I grew it, I earned a surplus for my organization, I helped set the agenda for the active transportation field, and I showed that an event could be profitable and not extractive of the host city. Our event got projects built and we sought out small, disadvantaged businesses for our contracts. Doing the right thing was rarely the easy thing, so many of those victories have stories and lessons learned. Along the way I formalized my planning credentials by sitting for the AICP exam. I maintained my certification from 2012-2019.

All of that is preamble to what I am now: dad to 2.5 year old twins, small business owner, and transportation planning whisperer to local staff and elected officials. It is in that last role that I have gained the experience which will be most crucial to my success at MnDOT. Answering my question of why our Main Street, which is a trunk highway, isn’t being designed, operated and maintained as a Complete Street, led me to appreciate the myriad ways that Department policies on Complete Streets, Towards Zero Deaths, and emissions targets are being interpreted and achieved/subverted/ignored at the district level. So after discussing my findings with my local elected officials, and my friends in public health and active transportation advocacy, we opted for the strategy of soft advocacy in the form of a regional active transportation summit. This fall we will convene a 1.5 day event that will highlight the reasons for investing in active transportation, bring the latest best practices in Safe Routes to School, Tactical Urbanism, Advocacy, Complete Streets, and other topics to local stakeholders, and tour some great streets and neighborhoods in Mankato. The summit will be held September 29-30, 2023.

Whether or not I am offered this position, I appreciate the opportunity to introduce myself and I look forward to working with your division and agency to improve mobility for all Minnesotans. Thank you for your consideration!

Sincerely,

Mark Plotz (he/him)
p.s. It is likely now appropriate to attest that these words were composed by a human, and not a form of artificial intelligence.

In 1993, a guy could put his motorcycle into a wheelie, ride a block of sidewalk in Old Town, Mankato, and the only one who might get hurt is his mother reading about it 30 years later. Today it is a much different place and its transformation holds lessons for Saint Peter’s downtown.

Old Town was never a great place when I was growing up in Mankato. It smelled bad because of the mill and the attendant semis and trains. But it’s the street I remembered as being really weird: the four lanes weren’t straight – they jogged 10 feet every few blocks. Today I recognize it as a primitive chicane using on street parking to jog the street and slow traffic. And why was traffic calming needed? Because the street was four lanes from back when it was a state highway. The highway had long since gotten a new alignment so all those extra lanes did was encourage speeding. (No need to ask how I know.)

Old Town’s challenges were the same as many cities where the highway moves: too much street makes for speeding, it makes it miserable to walk along, and dangerous to cross. A few brave businesses did move into Old Town, likely attracted by the beautiful and historic building stock and low real estate prices. But pretty much everyone still shopped at the malls unless they were in need of a niche retail purchase.

Then when I moved out to the east coast the fortunes of Old Town began to change. I got time lapse glimpses of it when I returned home (Mankato) for Christmas: facades were freshened, new businesses (a bike shop!) moved in, and eventually new structures went up and existing structures were repurposed. The district was resurrecting itself through art and niche retail. But, still, that F#*&@! street.

Today Riverfront Drive in Old Town should be on any planning nerd’s itinerary of destination streets. The casual and hardcore nerd can both appreciate how a street can make or break a neighborhood. A few days ago it was my destination street for Penelope’s evening walk. Here’s what we saw…

Riverfront Drive Really Needed the Help

Fixing that street was long overdue. Business owners were the first to recognize that no one wanted to park on Riverfront, so they turned their backs to it and made the rear entrance as good as the front door. Wow! What an unexpected joy to walk through the alley and see cleanliness, color and textures, and whimsical details.

People still need places to congregate so when the sidewalks are too narrow, setting aside public space becomes more crucial. And that’s why The Hub was created. It hosts food trucks, music, and chill places to relax. And of course The Hub is accessible with the best possible crosswalk.

Connectivity and Wayfinding Matters

No one window shops at 40 mph, so the details and the beauty won’t matter as long as the roar of the street and danger of crossing it persists. The road diet slowed cars, it shortened crossing distances with curb extensions, it confused – and slowed – drivers with (chortle) blue dots, and then drew people by providing programming. Throughout the district there are tasteful signs for businesses, and where a building contains multiple tenants, they are described in a way that is unobtrusive and comprehensible for pedestrian and driver alike. That means the size of the sign and its location works for everyone.

Texture is Important

The best streets give you something new each time you walk down them. That sounds like an impossibility, but add up the murals, the blank spaces that became canvases, the hidden gardens, the interpretive signs, the historic detailing of buildings, and programming (music, events, etc.) and that goal becomes obtainable. And of course the best thing to draw people is… people! Added bonus: people on the streets and sidewalks IS the original traffic calming.

Retail has a Critical Mass

I noted two vacant storefronts, and nearly every business was retail or dining. That second point is especially important as those types of businesses are more invested in the success of a district. Think about it this way: if I need my back adjusted I am probably not going to walk down the street afterwards to get an ice cream cone. No, I am going to park behind the business, get there 5 minutes before my appointment, cross my fingers that they will take my insurance, and leave as soon as my wallet is adjusted. Retail has the shades open and the lights on; service businesses may keep the shades down even when they’re open. Which would you rather walk past?

Success is Always Intentional

The murals, facade improvements, road diet, public art, and programming at The Hub are intentional – it is someone’s job to ensure the economic success of the Old Town district. It was intentional to construct an event space – a social space – in the district. It was intentional to provide the best, and safest pedestrian crossing in the city to get people from one side of the street (shopping) to the other (entertainment). The Invisible Hand efficiently allocates goods and services, but it doesn’t restripe the street or paint the crosswalks.

Conclusions

The road diet is on its way to becoming permanent. This despite the pushback from drivers confused by the lane reductions, blue dots on the street, and the disorientation that comes from loss of status on one of Mankato’s streets (don’t worry, dear driver, you still rule almost every other street in the city). 

The district has become a place and an economically successful one at that. It is an alternative model for economic development which doesn’t depend on 20k cars passing through the neighborhood hoping that if we provide enough parking that just maybe a fraction of them will stop and leave some money.

To sum up the formula used in Old Town: slowing traffic + street narrowing + programming in public spaces + public art + texture = a destination. They are now well on their way to people saying ‘you should’ve seen this place before they changed the street.’

This story was 50 years in the making. At least. I don’t have that kind of time or patience.  Do you? So just change your F#*&@! street already (and stop listening to people who tell you it is hard or impossible.) 

Presentation at Gustavus on Tuesday, January 11, 2022.

As we have mentioned, we are moving our shop to a new location. A new location means a new look for our sales floor and service area. No, we’re not going corporate; we’re just changing our aesthetic and maybe leaving behind some things that we no longer need. If you are interested in any of these please email us info@thesmallestcog.com. Pick-up must be at one of these times: late afternoon Wednesday (9/8), all day Thursday (9/9), and Friday morning (9/10).

Behind Door #1 in our Showcase Showdown we have this beautiful countertop! We scored it off Craigslist in early 2019. We got a set of kitchen cabinets from the Re:store and we built an exoskeleton of 2″x4″ around it to hold everything upright. The top has about a 1/2″ acrylic layer with some scuffs. We experimented with using polyurethane to cover scuffs and that worked well enough. This is perfect for a retail establishment or a she/he/they cave.

Price: $0. We will help you get it out the door and after that you are on your own. It will probably need to be dissembled to make it easier to haul. Warning: this thing is heavy and will require 2-4 people to move it.

Behind Door #2 is this beautiful refrigerator/freezer! This thing had been in our kitchen. We moved it after I rendered the shop’s mini fridge inoperable. Side note: never use a screwdriver and hammer to chip ice from your freezer because you will puncture the refrigerant tubes.

Price: $0. There is a small leak condensate in the refrigerator. Just stick a bowl under it and empty it weekly. The applicant is clean, odor-free, and works. You have to haul it away yourself.

Behind Door #3 is an infant/toddler motorized swing. This thing is a life saver… if your charge actually enjoys it. (Neither of our girls were into it.)

Price: $0. This was a gift to us; now it is a gift to you.

<Not pictured>

Important conditions:

• Items much be picked up Wednesday (9/8 after noon); Thursday (9/9 all day); and Friday (9/10 morning).
• We don’t have the time to provide additional information beyond what is here.
• We don’t have the ability to help you beyond the front door of our shop. You leave with it and we’re not taking it back if you change your mind.
• These are free but if you feel like making a contribution towards our customers’ unpaid balances, then we accept cash, check, and credit card.
• Email us if you are interested in any of the above. Thanks!

That title is with apologies to Tim O’Brien. He was writer-in-residence at Mankato State University when I was in graduate school. I didn’t read any of his books but I can recommend his recent interview on Fresh Air. He has some profound thoughts about becoming a father late in life, which he beautifully articulates.

In the late hours of Saturday, May 1, someone threw a brick through one of our shop’s windows and stole our best bike. We built it custom from the frame up; we were proud of it; and so we put it in our window display. That night happened to be a hot one and so windows above us and across the street were open. Everyone heard the glass break and the burglary was reported immediately. But the thief was long gone.

The next morning we found out via email. I’d been waiting for this to happen. Bikes are in high demand and the neighborhood… well, it is still a bit transitional — after dark.

I left the girls and the dog with Mandy while I busted a move to the shop to 1) secure our inventory and 2) survey and clean up the damage. Much to my surprise and relief we hadn’t been looted because the window was boarded up. Unfortunately, the window glass wasn’t tempered, and there were razor-sharp shards almost to the back shop where I found the brick that was used.

Dylen, our first hire, came in early on a Sunday to help with clean up. We took home the most expensive bikes, locked up everything else, and asked customers to pick up their repaired bikes ASAP. Damage control phase completed, we commenced the recovery and revenge phases.

We were insured so we added up the expenses to make the claim:
$3400 58cm Fairdale with Campagnolo Potenza and Hope RX4 brakes
$1200 for a tempered 3’ x 8’ pane of glass and installation

That came to $4600. The policy had a $1000 deductible and — here is the fine print — it only covers cost. That Fairdale was only worth $2400 to the insurance company. At the moment we are $2k in the hole from the theft and that doesn’t even count the hours spent cleaning up, dealing with the insurance company and police, and fighting the City of Saint Paul.

Wait, what? A few days later I noticed a guy wearing khakis and a shirt with buttons loitering on our corner. He had a clipboard and that made him look official. I went out to talk to him wondering if he was the insurance adjustor. Nope, he was from Code and Inspections. He was there checking to make sure the plywood had been installed. Upon learning this I asked why and was told that we would soon be receiving an invoice from the City for the work.

Excuse me? We just got robbed and now you are sending us a bill for it? Fuck. Off. Saint. Paul. As I recovered from that news I asked him the same question that I have been asking ever since: Why don’t you bill the criminal? No one, not him, not my elected officials or their staff, has been able to come up with a satisfactory justification for the $470 we were invoiced. That’s $310 for materials and $160 for a City administrative fee.

Eventually I did hear back from my Council Member and Code and Inspections. The former wasn’t aware of this City practice and policy; the latter explained the process for appealing the assessment, which involves filling additional paperwork and making my case to the Council. Or something like that. The process wasn’t logical and I was too pissed off to play their game.

Instead, since May 2, 2021, I have shaded the City to everyone who asks about the plywood window on the front of our store. The plywood is going to stay there until the City buys back its brick which was used to smash our window ($470) and it changes its asinine policy of penalizing the victims of crime.

So what should the City have done? 1) prevent crime (but I realize that such a thing is unrealistic when something like 100 shots were fired that same night elsewhere in St. Paul); 2) contact me when my business has been broken into so I can secure it myself; and 3) failing those other things, go ahead and charge me the $470 but refund it when I install a new pane of glass — otherwise there’s little incentive for me to spend $1200 replacing the window when we’re already out $2,000.

We had said good-bye to downtown St. Paul a long time before this happened. This was just additional vindication of our decision to move our family and our business. We love the people we’ve met along the way, and they deserve way better from City Hall and their elected officials.